God....why me for this job?

I have often wondered why me and more specifically why me in education and with teenagers? When I was in high school and then in college (up until my sophomore year), I always felt like the ugly duckling that could not craft a snappy come back if her life depended on it. I was frizzy headed and very introverted. It was not until my sophomore year at Trevecca that I realized I wasn't that bad and that with a little effort and laughter at myself, I could become more of a people person. So in that light... not being 'together' for very long..... what makes God so determined to put me in education (which I am good at but find draining and dull at times) and with teenagers who are all about 'cool'. I am really struggling with this in myself.



Throughout my years at Trevecca (on the PR team) and with teens most of the time (see God was at it then and I was oblivious) I always felt like the filler member. Let me explain! I wasn't talented like Andrea. I wasn't beautiful and athletic like Jenni. And I wasn't talkative and outgoing like Jana. So why? The same question I find today............I still found myself at church camps with teens for three long summers in PR. Then.....I found myself after college at a street school for high school teenagers who were drop outs. Then on to 2 years in full time youth ministry and now back at the street school for 4 year. AND TO BOOT.......NOW I AM PLANNING TO GET A MASTERS IN EDUCATION IN THE AREA OF AT RISK YOUTH! WWWHHAATTTTTTTTTTTTTT?



OK, take a deep breath and expound. Not to be dramatic but .....When I graduated from Trevecca I thougth medicine was the avenue to make an impact for Christ. I received my PA degree and was medicine bound but God is good to us in that He will accomplish His work through us dispite our misunderstanding of the goal. I am reminded of Moses (exodus 4:10) and how his immediate response to God's calling was, "Master, please, I don't talk well. I've never been good with words, neither before nor after you spoke to me. I stutter and stammer." I think I feel convicted now ;( IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE MY FIRST PARAGRAPH!!!!! Then it gets so intimate when God says to Moses......."I'll be right there with you as you speak!" How can it get any more reassuring than that.

"Father.......Help me accept how you have made me and rest in the confidence that you will 'be right there with me as I speak'. Help me cultivate that holy confidence and take that into my personal and professional life. "